Happy 2nd Birthday, Thomas!

Happy 2^nd Birthday my sweet boy! I’m so blessed to be your mommy. Your daddy and I watch you and can’t help but to smile; neither of us were prepared for just how much joy you would bring us. You’re growing up so fast, a little too fast for me, and I find myself with that now familiar lump in my throat thinking about another year gone by. Your personality has blossomed over the last year and here are a few words  I would use to describe you:

• Spunky – you know what you like and how to get it. You use your cuteness for good and evil. 
• Stubborn
• Smart (so Smart)
• Inquisitive
• Intuitive
• Tender Hearted
• Thoughtful

You’re learning how to express your emotions and no matter if you’re feeling happy or sad, the way you tell me always seems to touch my heart. For instance, you were struggling (still struggling a bit) with separation anxiety and after a few very rough days, on the car ride to daycare, out of no where you sweetly said “my happy now.”  After having to literally pry you out of my arms to leave you at day care, those words brought tears to my eyes because no mommy wants to think  they’re the cause of  their children’s sadness.

Here’ are a few cool things about you. You march to the beat of your own drum (as the saying goes). A bike ride typically has many stops to exploring so can get a closer look at bugs, flowers or birds. You’ll randomly stop in the middle of  a walk to play the air guitar (complete with a foot tap) or to pick up two sticks to serve as musical instruments.

You are also very stubborn and for that I’m sorry. You got a double dose of that from your parents but if used for good, it can actually get you far in life. I think it is our stubbornness that has helped your dad and I survive life and it is our stubbornness that drives us to work until we get what we want.

Things you say that make us swoon, or laugh or simply smile:

• “It’s my favorite” because everything is.
• “I Love You!” You say this so sweetly and with such genuine love that it makes our hearts explode every time.
• “My Happy Now.” You use this after a rough day or sometimes just after suffering a skint knee to let us know you’re OK.
• “That’s enough!” for when you need to get onto us for not behaving very well. 😉
• “Let’s rock a bit.” You use this when you don’t want to go to bed or leave for day care and it gets me every time and I”ll give it just a few more minutes so we can sit and snuggle.
• “8,9,10! 8,9,10!” You’re response every time we ask you how many there are of anything.

 

Your favorite things include:

• Animals
• blowing bubbles
• sidewalk chalk
• exploring nature (bugs and birds especially)
• Your wagon
• Your tricycle or  “motorcycle” as you call it
• Daddy’s boat and lures
• Trains

As a matter of fact, to celebrate your birthday, your Poppi and Gigi drove 750 miles to go with us to the zoo. Along with me, your dad, Poppi and Gigi, we also had Uncle Jason, “B,” Joey, Sumi, Chloe and Jasmine. Your favorite animals were the giraffe, gorillas, and lions. You were whispering to Chloe about the lions waking up. Aside from the animals, I think your very favorite part of the entire day was the Tram ride back to the entrance. It was a train to you and you kept saying “All Da Board!”

I’m not sure if you’ll remember your Birthday and celebrating with family, but if nothing else I just hope you’ll remember feeling loved. Happy Birthday Little One.

Love always,

Mommy

 

Oh How I Love His Sensitive Soul

Image courtesy of Lisa B Photography – http://www.lisabphotos.com/

I’ve often wondered to what capacity my son can love me. Part of me wants him to feel the kind of love for me that I do for him but part of me doesn’t because this much love often brings me to tears. The tears are often good, in an oddly painful way. For instance, after one particularly rough day last week as I sat holding my son, rocking and reading a bedtime story, I was moved to tears because I was just glad to be in that moment. It rejuvenated my heart.

I think I’ve learned more and more about my son’s capacity for love over the last month. One morning, before we even made it out of the neighborhood my son vomited. We pulled over and I changed him into a spare outfit. I’ve learned to always have two on hand because he will always need a change at daycare. As we’re driving down the interstate I hear my son giggling in the backseat saying “all gone” over and over. I looked in the review mirror and was horrified to see him shaking the milk out of his sippy cup onto his clean pants. Panicked, knowing he was down to only one spare pair , I started yelling “no no Thomas, no no!” I wasn’t angry, I just couldn’t reach him and I needed to get his attention.

Poor Thomas did not take my reaction well. I’ve never been that forceful and his lip went out and the tears started flowing. Talk about breaking my heart. I genuinely hurt his feelings. I spent the rest of my ride stretching far back to hold his hand as I tried desperately to explain that mommy didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.

Then just this week something else happened. That same night that I was having a moment, I wiped my tears dry so he wouldn’t see them, pulled him a little tighter and started reading a book we read together often. “Night Night, Little Pookie.” We open the book and Thomas always reads the first line “Oh Pooooooooookie, it’s time for bed now.” Then we got to the last page. The same words I’ve read 100 times to him, but I was feeling emotional that night so perhaps I read it differently. or perhaps he was actually feeling my emotions as I read the words. I’m not sure, but I whispered the words to him as I always do: “There are gentle winds blowing and stars all above you. Night Night, Little Pookie. I love you and love you. And love you and love you. And love you and love you.”

As I read these words, I saw something happening. Thomas’ little lip started poking out. He was fighting an emotion and I’m not sure he even understood it, but he was feeling something powerful. That image has been burned into my brain for days. It was amazing to see and hard to see all at the same time. As you can read, I’m even having trouble putting it into words.

He has the best personality and the best heart. I love his little sensitive soul. So we sat a little longer, rocked a little longer, sang a little longer and snuggled a little longer that night. I think maybe he and I both needed a moment of rejuvenation and  together we got there. Oh how I love his sensitive soul.

Holidays and Family

With both our families 12 hours away, every visit is special.We’re lucky that my sister and brother-in-law moved here a couple of years ago. Otherwise we’d have no family close by for Thomas. We’re also very thankful for technology like Skype so that Thomas can have interactions with those he loves regularly.

We avoid driving long distances with Thomas because his vomiting makes the typical stress of traveling with a baby that much harder but as Jarrad and I drove home through the night New Year’s Eve, Eve with Thomas sleeping in the back seat, we reflected on how important the visit home was for Thomas and how it was so very worth it. Not that our visits before Thomas meant any less, but it’s definitely different. Just watching him interact with family was so special.

Luckily, before we headed down to Bama,  Gigi, Poppi and Uncle Charles (or Chuck as Thomas calls him) made the trip up for Christmas this year so we had extra help on our drive to Bama, including a very patient Gigi that helped me clean and scrub puke from the car seat twice within a couple of hours, someone that didn’t judge me when I accidently drove 20 minutes in the wrong direction and that would turn around and pick the iPad back up from the floor board for Thomas over and over again without complaint (THANKS MOM!).

Unfortunately, I didn’t pull out my camera as much as I should have because I chose more to live in the moment this year, but here is what I did capture. Consider it a holiday recap in photos. Happy New Year!